From Notions of a Mirror (Anvil Press Poetry, 1983)

How to be reason, how to be hopeless in light:
Exhaustion throwing off the bad
Other proposals — letter to get off
To people of pedestrian letters, petitions
Somebody causes out of gas bills, idées fixes.
Falling and tardiness in keeping up
Dental Floss, feet. Highly strung times
To sit still through for long enough, guilt about
Times unstrung when one can’t get up
In the shambles that has somehow ended up.
Of a kitchen of the body — blisters, bruises,
Spots brought on by not changing to be
Bright for all efforts to prove oneself
A citizen: that has been denied fellow citizens.
Without blame. Imagination, a dirty enough
Word, an education, it elbows. And walls
Of the innumerable discomforts brought about.
But sleepiness, the fading eyes, the heavy.
Heavy to waste an hour, the mending
Of petty ruptures, all the tasks—
How to be hated, having no whine
Among children, throwing off the dream.
And power trips, and self-obliterating ideas
And scent of recriminations. Yet another
Pedestrian in charge makes jams.
Being so over-sensitive, falling back asleep,
Guilt about sanitary habits such as
The person who wishes you dead
When one doesn’t manage to do anything
Out of the chair facing the cooker
In the hotch-potch of aches in the corners
And irritating underwear. Often enough
To be clean and unblemished as a new advertisement,
That has been denied a citizen:
Other than imagining not having had enough
Of when one feels too old to do anything
About heads held upright by anyone,
By being what we are, especially heartedness
Of an infinity done over, sleep,
The semi-faint and shock blanking out.
A further, deeper breath of lapsing
Into oblivion. How to be swayed by
Swaying eyes disunited, blanking out to sleep
And sleep a second time again.



From Notions of a Mirror (Anvil Press Poetry, 1983)

About anthonyhowelljournal

Poet, essayist, dancer, performance artist....
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1 Response to AN ANGRY BLUE

  1. Written some 40 years ago, but just as much how it is today.


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