I know I’m a fan of one word poem titles & it’s not for everyone, but there really are…a lot…of poems with titles like “Six Years After My Husband Left Me, My Daughter Comes Home From School & Asks Me About Walruses”.

So tweeted Clarissa Aykroyd – who gave me permission to use her exemplary title.

SIX YEARS AFTER MY HUSBAND LEFT ME, MY DAUGHTER COMES HOME FROM SCHOOL AND ASKS ME ABOUT WALRUSES

x

I am not doing the dishes. I don’t believe in it.

That’s what I pay the housekeeper for. I have my practice

To keep abreast of. My daughter is very independently-minded.

At eight, she is already proud of her eccentricity.

Why is she asking? And how exactly did she put it?

I was only half listening as I was watching some programme

About a pogrom – which somehow seemed more urgent –  

A pogrom against owners of bitcoin. She repeats it:

Mum, what do you think about walruses?

Now is that Walruses with a capital W? A brand maybe.

Mums have to be so cool these days. Some species

Of footwear? Perhaps she wants to keep one as a pet.

That would in all likelihood prove expensive,

You’d have to build a pool for it. And though I provide

For us comfortably enough with my practice,

Since Ken buggared off, put it this way, I’m mindful.

That’s why in the evenings I like to relax by listening to

Financial views and familiarising myself with

Such phrases as the Gulag Casino. I wouldn’t want to have

Anything to do with them, I respond grumpily.

Why can’t she ever ask me about something more

Educational, more stature building, more

Up my street, like Thomas Jefferson? At her age

I knew all about him. I could seriously expand

If she came and said, Mum what do you think about

Thomas Jefferson? And I could round it off by saying

He believed that banking institutions are more

Dangerous to our liberties than standing armies!